I'm the world's smarttest man!
Friday October 20, 2006
Well, I decided to start chronicling my life events in a blog. I originally was going to start a diary, but to be honest I like surfing the net (when I actually get a chance to use the computer). I just hope this thing doesn’t read like Go Ask Alice on acid, wait wasn’t that done on acid? Actually I never read that book, I picked it up and thumbed through some of the pages once. I’ve talked about it like I’ve read it, I do that more often than I would like to admit.
This is my first diary entry. I’ve never done anything like this before and I have no idea where I should begin I could talk about who I am and such, but maybe I’ll start off with why I decided to write a blog in the first place.
Tonight I ended my relationship with Natalie. I’m a little upset about it because she was the best looking girl I have ever dated, even though we only dated for about four weeks. I had no intentions of ending it, but our dinner conversation went south and then I lost my temper.
So there we were, eating at Susar Lee’s (a very expensive meal that I paid for I might add), and we got into a conversation about my living situation. Natalie has had a problem since day one with the fact that I still live in my parent’s house. I know, I know, I’m not proud of it, but I’m looking for a place. Plus my mother is always telling me how much she likes having me around. I guess I’m a little sensitive on the subject. She started asking me why I haven’t moved out yet, and that most men my age (31) have moved out of their houses. I don’t know, I guess in hind-sight she wasn’t laying it on as thick as I felt, but like I said before the whole thing is a rather touchy subject. I told her that I was starting to look for a new place and I thought the conversation was over. We started talking about her day at work when all of a sudden she says, “can I say one more thing without you getting mad?” I said yes, knowing very well that she is now about to say something that is going to anger me. She continues “it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine that you are always a half-an-hour late.” I was late for the dinner, for a reason that I will explain in another entry. I did apologize profusely for my tardiness when I arrived at the restaurant. What else could I have done? I was late and I said I was sorry! Why is she bringing this up now? Is she just going to use this dinner to take shots at me? It’s a f’ing expensive restaurant and I’m paying. At that point I was fuming up inside. I told her I’ll try to be more punctual. Then I asked her “If I can ask her something and she has to promise not to get mad at me?” She obliged, so I continued “are you planning on being an f’ing bitch to me throughout the dinner?” A few minutes later, I was eating alone. I feel a little upset for how it all happened, but I guess she just wasn’t the girl for me. C’est le vive! Tomorrow I’ll put my profile back on line. Now I’m out of steam and I have to open the shop early tomorrow (10 am), so I should be getting to sleep.
Now that I have had a chance to reread my first entry, I think it’s not that bad. I should have mentioned I never got to sleep with Natalie, man that would have been great. She was a bit chubby, but she had a nice rack.
K now I have to go, my mother wants to use the computer,
Those who have read this, feel free in writing me!
Well, I decided to start chronicling my life events in a blog. I originally was going to start a diary, but to be honest I like surfing the net (when I actually get a chance to use the computer). I just hope this thing doesn’t read like Go Ask Alice on acid, wait wasn’t that done on acid? Actually I never read that book, I picked it up and thumbed through some of the pages once. I’ve talked about it like I’ve read it, I do that more often than I would like to admit.
This is my first diary entry. I’ve never done anything like this before and I have no idea where I should begin I could talk about who I am and such, but maybe I’ll start off with why I decided to write a blog in the first place.
Tonight I ended my relationship with Natalie. I’m a little upset about it because she was the best looking girl I have ever dated, even though we only dated for about four weeks. I had no intentions of ending it, but our dinner conversation went south and then I lost my temper.
So there we were, eating at Susar Lee’s (a very expensive meal that I paid for I might add), and we got into a conversation about my living situation. Natalie has had a problem since day one with the fact that I still live in my parent’s house. I know, I know, I’m not proud of it, but I’m looking for a place. Plus my mother is always telling me how much she likes having me around. I guess I’m a little sensitive on the subject. She started asking me why I haven’t moved out yet, and that most men my age (31) have moved out of their houses. I don’t know, I guess in hind-sight she wasn’t laying it on as thick as I felt, but like I said before the whole thing is a rather touchy subject. I told her that I was starting to look for a new place and I thought the conversation was over. We started talking about her day at work when all of a sudden she says, “can I say one more thing without you getting mad?” I said yes, knowing very well that she is now about to say something that is going to anger me. She continues “it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine that you are always a half-an-hour late.” I was late for the dinner, for a reason that I will explain in another entry. I did apologize profusely for my tardiness when I arrived at the restaurant. What else could I have done? I was late and I said I was sorry! Why is she bringing this up now? Is she just going to use this dinner to take shots at me? It’s a f’ing expensive restaurant and I’m paying. At that point I was fuming up inside. I told her I’ll try to be more punctual. Then I asked her “If I can ask her something and she has to promise not to get mad at me?” She obliged, so I continued “are you planning on being an f’ing bitch to me throughout the dinner?” A few minutes later, I was eating alone. I feel a little upset for how it all happened, but I guess she just wasn’t the girl for me. C’est le vive! Tomorrow I’ll put my profile back on line. Now I’m out of steam and I have to open the shop early tomorrow (10 am), so I should be getting to sleep.
Now that I have had a chance to reread my first entry, I think it’s not that bad. I should have mentioned I never got to sleep with Natalie, man that would have been great. She was a bit chubby, but she had a nice rack.
K now I have to go, my mother wants to use the computer,
Those who have read this, feel free in writing me!
posted by Mark Jakerson at 4:06 PM
3 Comments:
Great Blog....you are a true hero!
Men are most immediately attracted to women who are physically beautiful.
Women are most immediately attracted to men who are overtly masculine, regardless of what they may claim. Simply witness the preponderance of beautiful women clinging to the arms of gorilla faced, steroid bloated assholes and you'll understand.
It is only after they get to know each other beyond immediate impressions that they become more selective about what they want.
Your girlfriend probably spent enough time with hypermasculine assholes to know that she wanted something else. She was ready to move on to someone who may have appeared initially less attractive, but offered the promise of being a good partner. Women who claim they want to be partnered with a caring, sensitive guy and actually mean it are usually speaking from experience. They've kissed a lot of frogs and don't want to be stuck with another one.
I assume you're not a hypermasculine jerk, so she was hoping you'd be a little more sensitive than to call her a f'ing bitch. That's something a Columbine jock can get away with and still get laid. You and I can't get away with that kind of behavior. She was looking for someone who would not be a financial burden to her, someone who would be independent of his mother.
I suggest you find a place of your own.
Did you say smartest, or smart-ass, man??? :-D
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